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When you have walked into a room filled with people (pre-COVID), have you ever thought;

‘they seem much more confident than me’, ‘they have a better grasp of what’s being talked about’, ‘I don’t fit in here’

….this is imposter syndrome and it affects everyone. Even those people that seem more confident than you.

After a large career break due to various postings and children, I went to my first meeting. It was horrendous. Sweaty palms, churning stomach and a feeling like I don’t belong – I’ve not earned my seat at the table, and the fear of how obvious that would be to everyone else.

In fact, it was a good meeting. I drank some coffee, listened, and realised I had something of value to add. However, the narrative imposter syndrome provides is incredibly detrimental to you personally. Having a battle in your head that you don’t deserve to be at the table, that you know nothing, and others know so much more, despite evidence to the fact, can be exhausting, disheartening and ultimately harmful.

We need to realise that we are all just human beings – that none of us is perfect (no matter what we think) and we each have an individual identity and reason for being that is ours and ours alone, and we should own it.

 

 

But it is a fact of life that when moving to a new patch, starting a new job, launching a new business idea or even taking your children to a new school, imposter syndrome lurks behind us, telling us we don’t belong, and we need to address it in order to overcome the feelings of inadequacy, becoming our most authentic selves. Simply hey?

So how do you kick imposter syndrome out of your head? Ask yourself these questions;

Who Am I? This is about realising who your most authentic self is, who you want to see when you look in the mirror each day.

Why Am I Here? Explore what is most important to you. Your priorities are the things that will guide and focus you so don’t lose sight of them.

What Are My Successes? It’s important, when challenging imposter syndrome, that you take time to step back and acknowledge your successes. In the main, we tend to brush our achievements under the carpet claiming luck or accident, but by owning them, we can start celebrating them.

How Will I Lead & Live? Take the decision to consciously show up as the most authentic version of you and be guided by what is most important to you.

It may make you shudder at the thought of sharing your inner most critic with someone else but talking it through with someone can help you address these questions. Understanding why you struggle with confidence, feelings of inadequacy or bouts of procrastination, you can be guided through and away from this negativity.

The idea that you need to be perfect, on point each and every day isn’t possible. It is unattainable and the sooner we let go of the idea we need to be seen as ‘great’ by others and replace it with a focus on what success and fulfilment means FOR US – where our priorities are, we can start to move into a more confidence, authentic self.

For more information on how our coaching programme can help you overcome imposter syndrome, please email us: coaching@recruitforspouses.co.uk.

Happy spouses

Recruit for Spouses found us someone who was far and above the expectations we had hoped for and would always recommend, and recruit from them in future.

5

Mark Moseley, Director PestGone Environmental

I was able to secure a permanent position due to the experience I gained through the Liquid Workforce and I am very grateful I was allowed to be part of it.

5

Melanie de Klerk

‘I was very impressed with the quality and depth of talent that RFS can provide to employers across many types of role. I have no doubt (they) will be a huge asset to any employer working in digital marketing, social media marketing and associated roles’.

5

Andy Mihalop, Head of Channel Partner Marketing EMEA - Facebook

They helped me free up important time to work on my business by finding me a fantastic, dedicated, kind and communicative administrative assistant.

5

Emily Foster

RFS was...a platform for spouses who understood my struggles and my challenges. It felt like I came to them in pieces, deflated and very defeated and they (RFS) pieced me back together.

5

Rusila Halofaki

RFS are offering an amazing, unique opportunity in the Liquid Workforce within the recruitment world...so many doors can be opened.

5

Kate Legg

Don't give up, amazing and flexible companies do exist and RFS are 100% the best people to help you find them.

5

Amie Hills Grey

RFS was and is the only platform that exists that really understands the struggles and plight of every Armed Forces spouse.

5

Rusila Halofaki

The competency amongst the military spouse community is unbelievably good and the fact all our candidates were happy with remote working made this ideal for us as a small business.

5

Michael Coates, COMBAT pest control

I found the course to be an excellent refresher of the skills I used in my previous roles, and also a confidence booster to me, proving that I can do it again

5

Melody Davies, Liquid Workforce

Helpful? It has been so much more. It has given me confidence and self-belief as well as motivation and inspiration.

5

B. Barber, Military Spouse

This experience has been more than helpful. It has been, in many ways, life changing.

5

B. Barber, Military Spouse